Episodes 11 and 12: The Menagerie

I’m fully aware of the fact that it’s been a few months since I last went on adventure on the bridge of the Starship Enterprise. I feel like it would be a cop out to drop a list of excuses to dig my way out of avoiding my “responsibility,” but I’m going to do it anyway. I know exactly why I avoided writing about the next two episodes in the series: I did not want to watch “The Menagerie.”

Not only do these episodes cobble together clips from the discarded pilot, watching them feels like being locked in a chamber where time movies slower. I’m afraid that if I start watching “The Menagerie” again, I’ll walk out of my room and my family will be dead and everyone else will be living on Mars. Although, when you think about it, life in the future might not be but so bad—I bet there would be flying cars, or at least cool future pets like the House Giraffe or the Potbellied Cat. Still, my mother reads this blog and I don’t want her thinking that I would trade her in for a Safari animal that could fit under my desk, so we’ll go with this being a bad thing.

Now, “The Menagerie” has one of the most iconic and regularly referenced characters in the series:


Him again.

Captain Pike may suck, but when he finally decides to sacrifice his body to save some kids I guess he starts to become likable. I don’t see the appeal. I really just think it’s the beeping chair that people like. I mean it’s been in both “Futurama,” and “South Park.” You can’t argue with fan base like that.

To be honest, I watched these two episodes about a year ago, which didn’t help when it came to watching them again. So all summer I haven’t. I’ve done pretty much everything but watch “The Menagerie.” I’ve opted for episodes of “Top Gear,” “Space Ghost Coast 2 Coast,” “Spaced,” “Peep Show,” “The X-Files,” “Mystery Science Theater 3000,” “The Office,” and “Record of Lodoss War” over “The Menagerie.” Hell, yesterday I watched Star Trek Nemesis (we’ll get to my comments on that in a few years). After a while though, I’ve started to feel bad. I’ve been neglecting what I’ve set out to do. So, I buckled down and re-watched both episodes. Like they say: “Shit, or quit riding the goat.”

No wait, “Shit, or....” Whatever.

So here’s what I have to say about “The Menagerie:”

It’s Kirk and Spock watching an episode of “Star Trek.” They seriously sit down in front of a screen and watch the pilot episode supposedly being broadcast by the same telepaths from the pilot. It’s stupid. Fuck you.

Second thing: In the magical la la land of the Star Trek universe, with all of its wondrous technology and amazing medical advances, the best they could come up with for Captain Pike was a beeping wheelchair? Stephen Hawking can wax poetic about theoretical physics with his goddamn cheek, and all Pike gets is one beep for yes, two beeps for no. Go to Hell, “The Menagerie.”

There. I did it.


This is Star Trek

Ugh



UGH



Ahhh, that’s better.



On the next episode...

Roddenberry ditches the whole space idea and makes “Hamlet: The Series”